Thoughts of a Mad Scientist in Training

Saying Goodbye to An Old Friend

2007-05-06T20:26:00.000-07:00

It's not that I don't love blogger. Was not to long ago that this brown eyed gal starting documenting crap and logging it in for no one, or someone to read.

I have decided it is, in deed, time to change. To move on..and close these Thoughts of a Mad Scientist in Training.

It's been loads of fun and hope that you'll find my new blog interesting.

Take care and see you soon elsewhere.

Like Myself Again

2007-05-03T20:34:00.000-07:00

I am beginning to feel like myself again..which is great.

I haven't blogged much this week because I am feeling a bit ill. I think it's the Coachella funk in my lungs.

Anyway..promise to blog more this weekend..that is after I watch Mayweather beat the living snot out of the Golden Boy.

A girl can dream, can't she?

~kp

Coachella - part dux

2007-04-30T19:44:00.000-07:00

So, friends, if you never have done Coachella, do it. There is something there for everyone, you will undoubtedly run into some new music you like and it's just a great reason to kick back in the sunshine, watch people and chill out.

It was my first year there (I am running on two hours sleep in the last 24 hours) and one thing I noted about first getting there..licsence plates from all over the country and Canada lined the parking lots. Coachella has become a legendary event - a spectacle of music and art that welcomes campers, day trippers and local residents alike.

There is diversity in the crowd both culturally and age wise. Everyone is there to have a good time and I felt pretty mellow the whole time.

You have to be clever to catch everyone you want to see, depending on schduling and you may have to compromise watching a full set to sneak off and see someone else perform.

I am so tired, I am going to bed to catch up on some much needed sleep and I want to go before my ramblings become incoherant.

Next up: Coachella - part tre (or what I call a sychofantic rant about why Tom Morello is a guitar god)

Knut - The Most Famous Polar Bear in All the World

2007-04-29T12:15:00.000-07:00

On Easter, a baby polar bear was born in Germany. Knut, adorable little white male bear, was rejected by his mother at birth. Hundreds of thousands of people all over the world have rallied in support and his zookeepers have been on call since moment of birth.

They play with him and try to imitate interaction that would have been key from his mother.

The little bear is so famous he has 15 bodyguards, a team of keepers and a full medical staff. The country was worried a few weeks back when Knut was not eating, turns out the poor little guy was teething and not feeling very well.

Knut already has a team of zoologists looking for a proper mate for him in his later years. I hate to think of the day when people forget what majestic animals polar bears really are in the wild.

Knut, like a proper celebrity, already has merchandise, endorsements, adoring fans and even a stalker (there have been reports of one death threat).

I think it goes to show how the connection between man and animal can be so strong. Animals are often rejected at birth for biological reasons, in the wild, Knut would have died - there is some controversy about Knut being raised by humans as he is being raised now. Knut's future, like any young animal in captivity, is uncertain. What will happen when Knut is put in with the other polar bears..only time will tell.

Here are some Knut pics..and Knut even has his own Wikipedia entry!

Coachella, Baby

2007-04-29T10:07:00.000-07:00

I have but only 4 words for you, friends. RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE.

I am so excited about seeing them together on stage - Tom Morello (good doer) and Zack De La Rocha (bad ass mutha) - not to mention the rest of the band which is awesome.

When asked how best to describe RATM music, I like to say that it's angry up with the people funk. It'll be interesting to see them together after a 7 year separation, the break up of Audioslave left many hopeful that this reunion, would in fact, come to fruition.

I am sure today will be awesome (although hot - hell hot), I shall take pics and post them.

Rapid Drug Detox

2007-04-28T19:14:00.000-07:00

Finally, an entry not about me.

I heard about this at my yoga class on my birthday. Our statuesque instructor, Joe, was telling us about how strong we are - and don't even know it. He does charity work (god bless him, the saint) with a drug rehabilitation center locally.

They do rapid opiate drug detox. A highly evasive method (relatively new) to get addicts off opiates and into a normal physiological state quickly.

The procedure takes place while the patient is under anesthesia and large amounts of blockers are rushed through the body - this takes about two hours. The blockers will then make the brain not crave the opiate on the receptor sites and then there will be no withdrawal and more importantly, no craving.

The method is costly and controversial. Patients have suffered life threatening side effect - some patients have been kept under as long as 4 hours while the opioid antagonist drugs are driven through the body.

The procedure isn't a cure all. After the $15,000.00 procedure, the patient still needs out-patient drug therapy - with some form of antagonist drug.

Addiction is a disease that should be treated as one. Health insurances should help pay for better and effective treatments. Insurance companies will not cover Rapid Opioid Detox. It's cheaper to let the addict keep using and die. Given the price tag, who could afford it?

For more information on what JAMA found in one study, click here.

Really, now

2007-04-26T21:24:00.000-07:00

There is something sinister and perverted about corporate life.

~kp

Mutha *uckas

2007-04-21T12:37:00.000-07:00

I am the victim of identity theft, yet again.

Damn it.

~kp

Ten of the Best Break-Up Songs Ever - plus two to grow on..

2007-04-16T20:44:00.000-07:00

Given the recent events..and what is my little life, I was thinking about music and relative meaning in our lives. Case in point, when I was younger, and tragically heart-broken..I couldn't listen to the radio. It seemed like every *ucking song reminded me of that so-and-so who had just wrecked me.

I love music too much at this point to give a shit anymore.

For all our pleasure, I have compiled what I think are the ten best break up song ever. Now, trying to number these was almost impossible..but I think that I have got them down pretty good. The criteria was simple: (1) had to be a love song; (2) had to be about a love that was no more ; (3) there had to be some bite to it. I'll define bite later.

Let's start with the two to grow on- I like to call these my honorable mention, mainly because Ben Harper's voice can do many things to a music lover. He can make you cry within a few bars of a song. I had picked two songs by him and felt that his style and voice lend itself uniquely to this category. If I needed to break up with someone via song, I would ask Ben to write and sing it for me. So, my two B.H. songs that I feel are exceptionally well written break-up songs are:

Walk Away

bite of the song: And it hurts me
To look into the mirror at myself
And it hurts even more
To have to be with somebody else

Another Lonely Day

bite of the song: Wish there was something
I could say or do
I can resist anything
But temptation from you
But I'd rather walk alone
Than chase you around

Okay, on to the top ten list:

10 - You're No Good (as performed by Linda Rondstadt)

I love this song, it's sassy and her raw voice cuts through the lyrics. My favorite part, or bite, of the song has to be the first few lines, "Feeling better now that we're thru, feeling better 'cause I'm over you.". Short, sweet and to the point.

9 - She's Gone (as performed by Hall and Oats)

Come on, you've seen Anchorman, this song is really sad. The bite of this song, "Now I can see love taking a toll on me", I love this because this comes after a lyric about not missing her extra toothbrush..great little sad sight in my head when I hear this song.

8 - Everybody Knows (a performed by Trisha Yearwood)

Best part of this song, "Even my preacher cares, he says all I need is prayer..and everything will just work out". I love this song because it's a girls break up song. It's a song about everyone knowing that your soft underbelly has been exposed and poked with a big old stick of heartache. I love her voice, I love the campy country quality. Good stuff.

7 - Everyday I Love You Less and Less (as performed by the Kaiser Chiefs)

Here's the thing. It's a mean song, it's the kind of song you would hope no one ever sings about you. My favorite part of the song is this, "It makes me sick to think of you undressed, since everyday I love you less and less". The beat kicks ass and it's a fun song to car dance to and sing at the top of your lungs with the windows up.

6 - Despair in the Departure Lounge (as performed by the Arctic Monkeys)

Let me tell you something. You know that sick feeling you walk around with when you get dumped. The Arctic Monkeys have pristinely captured it in song.
"It feels like she's just nowhere near
You could well be out on your ear
This thought comes closely followed by the fear
And the thought of it
Makes you feel a bit
Ill"

5 - Stay or Leave (as performed by Dave Matthews)

I would like to love this song less. I hurt when I hear this song, it just captures that feeling when you know you had something good..and now it's gone. Best lyrics of the song, "Remember we used to dance, and everyone wanted to be you and me. I want to be, too. What day is this, besides the day you left me?"

4 - God Give Me Strength (as performed by Elvis Costello)

Now we are getting down to the heart of the matter (dude! I can't believe that I forgot about that song, shit!) and this song rocks. Best part, right after the bridge, "I might as well, wipe him from my memory
Fracture the spell, as he becomes my enemy,
Maybe I was washed out like a lip-print on my shirt
See, I'm only human, I want him to hurt
I want him
I want him to hurt"

3 - Reservations (as performed by Wilco)

I love Wilco. Under this band name, or any other. Their sound is one of a kind and this song breaks my heart. Best part is the beginning..and it goes like this, "How can I convince you it's me I don't like
And not be so indifferent to the look in your eyes
When I've always been distant
and I've always told lies for love". I will say no more on this one.

2 - I Still Miss Someone (as performed by the man in Black)

Sad song. Angst, good old fashioned hurt is what this song is, "Sweethearts walk by me together, and I still miss someone". I love it's simple, haunting sadness.

1 - It's Cool, We Can Still be Friends (as performed by Bright Eyes)

Alright, you didn't think that I would not have an EMO song on the list. By the mother of all EMO bands, at that. The song is intense and painful. Long and drawn out..kind of like a bad break up. Because this whole song aches, I have provided you with the whole thing. Read up, breathe a deep sigh, and give thanks that you aren't this sad little sad man of indie rock.

Yeah, you still kiss me, but it's just on the cheek
Yeah, you still kiss me, but it's just on the cheek
Yeah, you still kiss me sometimes, but it's just on the cheek
You pull away so easily

And I still call you, but I get your machine
And I still call you, but I get your machine
And if I'm lucky I guess, I get your roommate answering
But you're at the bar, or at Gene's

And we go to dinner, but you won't hold my hand
We sit at the same table, but we don't play with our feet
Yeah, we still go to dinner sometimes, but we don't sneak a kiss
When the waitress turns around

And we still watch movies, but we don't share the couch
And we still rent movies, but we don't share the couch
Yeah, we still watch movies sometimes, but you don't lay in my lap
The plot is slow, take a nap

And you even stay over, but now we stay in our clothes
Yeah, you'll even sleep over, but now we stay in our clothes
Yeah, you even sleep over sometimes, but we stay in our clothes
I'm only there so that you're not alone

And you say that I hurt you, in a voice like a prayer
Yeah, you say that I've hurt you, and your voice is like a prayer
Yeah, well maybe I hurt you sometimes, but let's contrast and compare
Lift up your shirt, the wound isn't there

I guess that your truth, is just the ghost of your lies
I guess your kind of truth, is just the ghost of your lies
Yeah, your kind of truth, darling, is just the ghost of your lies
I see through them all the time
So I'm pouring some whiskey, I'm gonna get drunk
Yeah, I'm pouring myself some whiskey, I'm going to get really fucking drunk
I'm pouring some whiskey right now, I'm going to get so, so drunk
That I pass out, forget your face, by the time I wake up.

Sleep sweetly, world.

~kp

33 Hours to 31

2007-04-16T20:38:00.000-07:00

Once again, the passing of time is marked for this brown eyed girl. I'll be 31 years old soon. In a matter of a day and some hours.

Pretty excited about this one actually, call it timing, but I think that this will be a great year full of opportunity to grow and be more focused on myself. If only I could stop myself from eating chocolate. That would be progress and maybe even a sign of maturity.

Maybe not.

It's just so odd, the older I get, I feel as if I am behind. Maybe out of touch with most people my age. I am not sure. My best friend, who is 4 years older than I, says I am a "pup" and I shouldn't squander these years. I agree.

Watch out, don't mess with the Dragon!

~kp

Song of the Day: (Just Another) Lonely Day

2007-04-15T20:21:00.000-07:00

Ben Harper.

I love Ben Harper.

Yes indeed I'm alone again
And here comes emptiness crashing in
Its either love or hate
I cant find in between
Cause Ive been with witches
And I have been with a queen

It wouldn't have worked out any way
So now its just another lonely day
Further along we just may
But for now its just another lonely day

Wish there was something
I could say or do
I can resist anything
But temptation from you
But Id rather walk alone
Than chase you around
Id rather fall myself
Than let you drag me down

It wouldn't have worked out any way
And now its just another lonely day
Further along we just may
But for now its just another lonely day

Yesterday seems like a life ago
Cause the one I love
Today I hardly know
You I held so close in my heart oh dear
Grow further from me
With every fallen tear

It wouldn't have worked out any way
So now its just another lonely day
Further along we just may
But for now its just another lonely day

I felt like crap all day, which is strange, because I had such a great time out on Saturday with some friends to celebrate my upcoming 31rst. I never really remember my dreams, but all week I have been having dreams where I am bald. (Weird?!) I even dream about the guy that just dumped me..he's been in my dreams for the past couple of nights. I really hate it. I really wish that it would stop.

I looked it up and to dream of being bald can mean the fear of losing strength (which fits) or the fear of being exposed, which also fits. Every thing is muddled and I hate it. I think it's because I am not treating this in the usual manner in which I would normally be treating any other break up. I think I need to get the heck out of town and try to clear my head.

I think I have protected myself from what was really going on for so long that it's been to my detriment. There is self preservation and then there is self annihilation and it's a pretty thin *cking line in this house. I have made excuses and concessions far beyond my normal boundaries. I feel compassion for this person, because clearly their sense of reality is causing them pain; that being said, there is a time when you have to cowboy up, dust yourself off and get the *UCK OVER IT ALREADY! Stop causing the people who love you pain and accept and move on with it. I am not talking about me, clearly I know that I am not (nor was I ever) a priority to this person, but his dedicated and devoted family are beside themselves.

I hate that I am this unsettled by this damn break up. I hate it.

I hope it goes away soon, I am not myself.

~kp

There is a Difference

2007-04-15T20:07:00.000-07:00

I just want to make sure that we all know that there is a difference between supporting the war and supporting the troops. Keep that in mind.

Enlisted soldiers have been asked (for the first time in a very long time) to extend their term of service from 1 year to 15 months. Our great nation used to have a squad (at all times) reserved for emergency tactical deployment only. We currently have all those enlisted men and women over seas in IRAQ.

It used to be that if you wanted to join the armed forces in this country, but if you had a felony - your application was denied. Now, this country is so desperate, that the government is pardoning felonies over three years old in exchange for service.

It used to mean something to be an American soldier. It used to mean something to be an American. I love this country, I really do and it disgusts me when I see how we treat our own people putting their lives on the line to protect the freedoms that we take for granted. The moral code in the Armed forces used to mean something, now we allow men and woman with questionable ethics and former criminals in - out of desperation.

We have no business in this war. None what so ever. Nothing good shall come of it, other than the stuffing of Cheney's pockets via Halliburton.

I pity the honorable American soldier, who put his ass on the line for us, when he looks over at his fellow soldiers and has to wonder about the dedication, the commitment and ethical backbone of his comrade.

I support our troops, whole hearted, but it's time for us to back the hell out of there, and stop trying to make a difference in a civil war that's been waging since Christ died. There is no resolution. There will be no peace..these people have nothing to lose.

~kp

Here's What I Think..

2007-04-14T12:47:00.000-07:00

Okay, Fred Thompson's camp disclosed that the Senator's physician diagnosed a low grade lymphoma (Non-Hodgkins - I had Hodgkins). I found reports saying that this lymphoma had been so insignificant that it has been treated and in remission and that there is no reason why he could not serve as President.

Here's what I think. *ucking brilliant!!

What is more compelling than a man so dedicated to the idea of the presidency and his call to duty to save this wasteland, that he sacrifices personal health to answer that call. Who cares if it was low grade cancer. CANCER is like talking about vomiting corpses at dinner..people hear the word and recoil and this bad ass Senator shakes his head and says," Just a little cancer, that's all". If that isn't good spin, I don't know what is.

Dirty? Hardly. His coy flirtation with the GOP is just the kind of cock teasing they enjoy. Wet us with your provocation, Fred, the votes will surely follow.

Americans vote for survivors. For heroes. For do gooders (other wise, how do you explain Clinton). Fred is the real deal, or at least he better be, or this will surely bite him in the ass.

Is this the End?

2007-04-13T20:16:00.000-07:00

Thinking of giving up this blog and starting a new one some where else.

I know..blaspheme. This is mutha-*ing blogger.

I said, thinking, not good-bye.

~going to explore my other options

Fred Thompson

2007-04-12T21:16:00.000-07:00

Fred, sadly announced, that although he was thinking of running in the 2008 election ; health reasons (lymphona) would prevent him otherwise.

My advise to you, America, vote for the man that Thompson backs.

Our chance for a return of decency and honor in the White House has faded away for now.

~kp

Kurt

2007-04-12T21:04:00.000-07:00

Kurt Vonnegut died today. He was 84 years old. He was undeniably brilliant, with a unique (and desperately American) style. Hands down, in my top five writers of all time.

Vonnegut had a struggle with depression for most of his adult life. He was open about his suicide attempts.

"He was a man who combined a wicked sense of humor and sort of steady moral compass, who was always sort of looking at the big picture of the things that were most important,"- this is one of the best descriptions I have found for him. Read full article here.

One of my favorite Vonnegut themes he ever alluded to, was the 1950's were a lie. I love that for some reason.

R.I.P. KURT - Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.

~kp

ooohh...taking a long time

2007-04-10T21:10:00.000-07:00

The transfer using my ipod is taking a long time. I mean, copying the itunes folder to my ipod as a removable hard drive. I am scared. There was something unsettling about deleting my itunes library...gave me the willies. We will see how it goes.

Check in later.

~kp

It's Here

2007-04-10T20:28:00.000-07:00

My new mac is here..and she's so shinny and pretty.

I am successfully (so far) getting her all set and transferring data over from my PC laptop. So far so good..the big one will be moving my entire itunes library.

Keep them crossed for me.

~kp

Taking the Plunge

2007-04-09T19:50:00.000-07:00

So, I bought a Mac and it's arriving tomorrow. I have been watching it's journey since it left this morning, and must say, that this is better than waiting for Christmas.

Here's the thing with being a girl. When something happens, like a break up, or failing a class, or something that just rocks your world a bit, we (being girls) like to treat ourselves. Ice cream, chocolate, new hair color, SHOES or anything extravagant and sorely deserved.

In my case, it was my Mac. I have wanted one for awhile..and after seeing some of the cool things it can do, I was sold. I made a big purchase and I hope, as I read article after article on transitioning from PC to Mac, that I have made the right choice.

I have found some brilliant HOW-TO's and must give them their props here:

how to use that sly ipod for a bigger and better purpose
how to trick the mac and make it your bitch and get all itunes files over

Here's the thing, I have labored over my itunes library..made play lists, rated music, etc. I don't want to repeat that pain in the ass all over again, I have better things to do with my shiny, new mac.

The ipod trick is just cool..make it earn it's keep, guys. You stuff it full of good music and LOST episodes and it does nothing in return. There are no free rides, here, kids.

I am not that techno savy. I am hoping that all that I try to do goes well..and that I wont be blogging about how I had to take my new baby into the apple store to have one of their geniuses, do it for me.

I am pretty excited and we'll see how this goes. I haven't told my current laptop the news..hopefully, I can find her a new home where she will feel loved.

~kp

Grind House

2007-04-06T22:22:00.000-07:00

What can I say?

Other than Tarantino and Rodriguez are my heroes and I commend their talent and risk taking.

Cinephiles..go see this movie in the theater. I mean, when it comes out on DVD - buy it, own it, cherish it. But go see it in the theater.

Rodriguez' film is first and hilariously disturbing. Cheeky, I would call it. No man, woman or child is safe. I can't help but feel a little dirty - having watched how he makes the camera caress the image of Mcgowan. Home wrecker. I have to say, and this is not the time to state this, I thought that Rodriguez was a cut above Hollywood. A cut above the rest. I guess not - how typically Hollywood to leave one's wife of 16 years and mother of his (5) children for someone younger, hotter, yet, intellectually inferior. Robert, you chump, she isn't an upgrade, she's a f*cking rental.

Tarantino's is awesome, clean, beautifully shot, cut and there is an incredibly cool homage to Reservoir Dogs with the girls in the dinner that is so immaculate - you realize it's all one single f*cking shot!

Enjoy the cast - and Zoe Bell..you are wonder woman!

~kp

Be Careful What You Say, You Just Might Mean It

2007-03-30T20:53:00.000-07:00

I hate it when I am in a situation where I can't say what I really mean. You know, perhaps at work, or in line at the store.

I wonder what would happen if we spoke our minds.

Would good come of it?

~kp

We Need Fred to Run

2007-03-24T19:05:00.000-07:00

Years ago, during this same time of year, I had hopes that Fred Thompson would run for President for the Republican party. Sadly, he didn't and a man from another Southern state ran for President. I can safely say that our lives here in the United States have been the same.

Fred Thompson is a conservative who is capable of being elected. Highly intelligent, well spoken with a keen interest in foreign affairs beyond oil sources. Am I a conservative? Hardly. Just an American who remembers what it felt like to actually be proud of her country- once. We have big problems in this country, boys and girls, and we need to get to fixing them before it's too late. I think that the Left should sit this next election out.

I know, I know, the actor "thing". You have seen Fred Thompson. He was in The Hunt for Red October and Days of Thunder to name two movies..and what's wrong with that, people? There is very little difference between being an attorney and an actor..why shouldn't he make some extra cash? Like I said, this man was self made.

There is a grass roots effort to try and get Thompson to considering running in the 2008 presidential election. I am hopeful that it will happen, in a recent poll he beat out McCain, Giuliani, and Mitt Romney.

Learn more about Fred here.

You Never Can Tell

2007-03-24T18:19:00.000-07:00

I saw this today on PostSecret. It touched my heart for some reason and I just had to share.

The Place I Love Most

2007-03-10T21:43:00.000-08:00

I cannot explain the connection that I feel with the Cape. It's beautiful, tame and full of life. I was lucky enough to be able to spend a long weekend there and I got to see parts of the Cape which I hadn't seen before.

The result being thus: I have found the place I love the most and it is here that I can not wait to call home one day.

Provincetown.

What makes up the fist of the arm that is the Cape has become a haven for those who wish to live life richly - and by this I mean, surrounding themselves with art, beauty and personal freedom. Provincetown welcomes all ages, all creeds, colors and sexual orientation. Some notable natives include Norman Mailer and Jonathan Waters. It mixes the cool sophistication of the Cape with a dash of "fuck you" to conformity by housing Gay Fetish shops in Provincial New England architecture.

As I walked along Commercial Street, I could see myself, years from now, walking home with a coffee in hand, to get started on my next writing project - faithful canine companion by my side.

It was the highlight of my trip and I cannot wait to figure out how to get back there permanently.

Life is too short, friends. Travel, see new places and seek out that one special place which whispers in your ear upon arrival, "You are home".

~kp

Like Coming Home

2007-03-03T19:14:00.000-08:00

I write this from my hotel room in Falmouth, Massachusetts. There is something great and comforting in the Cape for me. I had no connection to the area when I first came here years ago and really no connection to it now, other than the fact that I fell in love with it.

My return has been great and seeing it in it's calm and powerful quiet in Winter makes me anxious to return, perhaps in the Fall.

Today we explored the Vineyard and tomorrow, a leisurely drive up and down the coast should bring some adventure and good food to us.

~kp